I met Arthur again yesterday. Haven't really gotten a chance to talk with him since we flirted and fooled around last year. A short time after the previous blog entry about him, he had somewhat of a mental breakdown. I worry that I might have made him crash harder and faster by pushing him like I did. On the other hand, I think flirting and cuddling was good for him. So I don't really know...
Anyway, it was good seeing him again. He's much better now, though still far from well. I was pleased to discover that all the trust we built up between us last year, hasn't disappeared. He trusts me, to the extent that he trusts anyone. I think he's also pleased that he hasn't been able to scare me off. He made me back off and cool down for almost a year, sure, but I haven't given up on him.
And so we talked, and flirted, and talked some more. He's still somewhat mentally unstable, and can't take too much, or too intense, conversation. And I can be quite intense, when I'm interested in someone. He was really good at letting me know when he needed me to back off and talk of inconsequential things for a while. I did as he asked, but returned to the more intense subjects eventually.
He's been very clear that while we might hug and fondle a bit, we won't go any further. He's not mentally ready to handle anything more physical, at this point. I'm glad he's being so frank with me, as I need such messages loud and clear to actually get them.
Still, it's going to be hard. I've always had a soft spot for semi-broken nerds (like War). It doesn't always work out (Jump being the prime example), but I like to think that I leave the men in a better state than I found them in. It's not just altruism either. I quite enjoy the power my female sex gives me with such guys. And I enjoy the fact that I'm almost never rejected.
Another thing which makes it hard to leave Arthur alone, is that I know there's a kinkster lurking inside of him somewhere. And I love helping people discover who they really are! I think he's probably a dominant and a top. The way he describes his fantasies and his sex life, I see some clear resemblances with T. However, unlike T, there's a stronger desire to hurt and manipulate and dominate. He got turned on by my fear, for gods' sake! There's definitely something there! He's just too afraid to let it out.
But I'll be good! Mostly hands off and all. (I don't really have the time for another fling now anyway.) Still, he sure is tempting...