Sunday, April 2, 2017

Cogito, therefore I grow

Cogito and I have really hit it off. We talk for hours at a time on Skype, usually 2-3 times per week. We talk about inconsequential things in our daily lives, we talk about serious things that we struggle with, we laugh and joke, and we play.

The D/s is challenging because it's long-distance, but we're making it work. I really love making up little tasks for him, insinuating myself in his daily life and routine. I also thoroughly enjoy the reports he writes afterwards, where he tells me how it went and admits to being horny and frustrated. I love having that effect on him.

He's fairly inexperienced when it comes to D/s-relationships. He also doesn't have any practical experience with polyamory. However, as all good geeks he reads up on stuff (T and Saint are also like that). So whilst I do stuff because of previous experience or gut instinct, he can usually analyse and explain what I do better than I can. I enjoy that he challenges my way of thinking and doing things. He can also see through many of my defences already, and he helps me to grow as a person and as a dominant. I love his analytical mind, how well-read he is, and how well he expresses himself. 

I've known him now for 5 weeks. In those 5 weeks he's gone from a random encounter, to a possible comet, to a friend and confidant and lover. We both know that nothing lasts forever, and that long-distance relationships are especially challenging to maintain. But right now, I don't care. Right now, I don't want to think about that. Right now, I want him in every way that I can, as much as I can and for as long as I can.

It's difficult to manage to surf on this wave of NRE, and not leave my other relationships wrecked in my wake. However, right now it feels like I'm doing well. It's one hell of a balancing act, and there's definitely been some challenging times. But it feels like I'm doing it. 

I love T, and I love Saint. And I love Cogito. All three in different ways, because all three relationships are unique. But it's love, one way or another. Love, and need, and want. And that's really, really nice. 

No comments:

Post a Comment