Thursday, May 5, 2016

Yes, ma'am

I saw Giant again on Tuesday. He came with me to an introductory munch at our local BDSM club. His first time there, but I doubt it'll be the last.

Afterwards, we headed back to his place. We didn't have much time, but made good use of what we had.

I tried some verbal humiliation on him for the first time. He found it interesting, but I'm uncertain how much he really liked it. I also slapped his face (which I enjoy) and spat on him, and again I'm uncertain if he actually wants more of that or not. He didn't use any safe words, and I know he was willing to take it... But there's a difference between being able to take something, and actually wanting to experience something. Further experimentation is needed to establish whether humiliation is something he can enjoy or not.

He also fingered me and was able to make me come, for the first time. And he got to feel a full body rope-harness for the first time. For the first time, I was able to spank him until he cried. Not much, but enough.

He didn't get to come when he wanted to. I'm teaching him about edging. He enjoys that. And hates it. As it should be.

When chatting with him online, he once called me Ma'am. I don't think he meant much by it, then. Just a flirtatious comment. I've never been a fan of using titles in BDSM. My name isn't "Mistress" or "Madam" or "Goddess" or whatever silly title subs make up for the women controlling them. I think it sounds silly, even in porn. And in Norwegian, it sounds even sillier. However, having HIM call me "Ma'am" sparked something in me. I still found it silly, but I was also... fascinated. We discussed it and agreed to give it a try.

In real life, it's difficult to remember having him use the title. And it still sounds kind of silly to me. However, I also quite enjoy it. I enjoy his reaction, how this obviously appeals to him. It turns him on, and that in turns makes me turned on. The circle of BDSM play. The circle of life.

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