Wednesday, December 22, 2010

What comes around goes around

A lot has happened in December. Corvus and I have played a lot. We keep exploring the world of crossdressing. He's re-discovering sides of himself that he probably knew at one point, but repressed years ago. I'm glad I can help him become more comfortable in his own skin, and get to know himself better.

A couple of weeks ago, I stayed at his house for a night. It's been a long time in comming. He's got cats, which I'm allergic to. That evening wasn't so bad, as long as I stayed in the relative cat free bedroom. However, the next day was not good at all. I'm not going to spend the night there often, that's for sure. I guess that's just as well, since I this time managed to break his bed. Just imagine what I could do if I came by more often. :P

We've spent several entire afternoons together, mostly in the back of the car. I'm feeling much more comfortable when I'm with him now. We know eachother so well, and know we can rely on eachother whenever we need support. There's been a lot of stress in December, and it's been very nice to have another person to go to for support. Being held, having him give me a massage, letting playing with him distract me from everyday worries... It's a great form of stress relief.

T is my first priority. Although I've grown to care about Corvus a great deal more than I thought I would, he can't ever take T's place. In my life, they hold two very different, very distinct positions. Each has it's "use", each is important to me, but they can't replace eachother. It just wouldn't work.

It's as if I was some kind of machine, with T as my regular power supply. Corvus is like a spare battery, giving me that extra boost when I need it. Getting some of what I need from Corvus also enables me to better support T in turn. What goes around comes around, you might say. So although December has been hectic for both T and I, I feel we've come out of it in better shape than we could have. Because we've not drained eachother completely dry, and instead relied on others to take part of the strain. I'm not sure this is an ideal solution in any way, but it's worked well enough.

It's a matter of balance, though. The moment T and I stop relying on eachother entirely, the relationship would start to die. We are eachother's closest support system, eachother's better half, and that's the way I want us to continue. We just have to be aware that it is a balace. I'm so looking forward to over a week of hollidays with T, traveling together and visiting family. We need this time together, after these last few months filled with stress and strain. It will be nice.

Monday, December 6, 2010

T and I: A ratio of 2:2

T and I went to a cruising party on Saturday. Corvus couldn't come, but I managed to amuse myself even so. Along with two other girls, I "attacked" a nice guy whom I've talked with a bit previously. I read his profile on Fetlife and got intrigued, and that's why I wanted to try him out. However, I quickly noticed that I couldn't get the connection I wanted. We were simply too many people involved. So I backed off in favor of one of the other girls. Later, after they had finished, I tried playing with him again. It was fairly ok. We were both tired, so I didn't get him down as far as I would have liked. Still, it was a nice way of getting to know him.

Inbetween the two attempts with this other guy, I got a bit involved with a couple I've known for a while. They both switch, but tonight she was the sub. They've wanted me involved in their playing for a few weeks, so they were very pleased when I asked to join them. He'd already made her nice and hot, and she makes the most beautiful sounds when she gets spanked. I spanked her a bit, fingered her a bit, fondled her a bit, grabbed her hair and said nice things to her. I gave her an orgasm and I made her cry a bit. That was my goal, and so I'm fairly pleased with that. However, she didn't break down properly, she only cried for a few minuters. Will have to work on that in the future.

Playing with a guy who wasn't Corvus felt really weird. Except from grabbing ahold of Winnie from time to time, Corvus is the only one I've played with these last few months. This other guy recated differently, more vocally, and enjoyed different things. Given a choice, I much prefer Corvus, probably because he's known. Familiar. And I can much easier read his body language, play his emotions and his body like a musical instrument. And I trust him soooo much more. I'm looking forward to Tuesday when Corvus and I will play again, just us. It's going to be nice (at least for me...).

At the party, T had played a bit with a woman I'm naming Flower. She lives an hour outside of Oslo, so once before she slept at our place after a party. I suggested she'd come home with us again, and she accepted. I knew T would probably want to play more with her in the privacy of our own home. Although she's nice and sexy and such, I was simpy too tired to get involved. Once home, I told them both how I felt, wished them luck, and went to bed.

The next morning.. Well.. Afternoon.. I found out that they'd gone to bed sometime after 8am. Flower took her time getting out the door, and T took advantage of her procrastination. He grabbed onto her breasts, fondled them, pinched them and made her moan and scream. I sat in the other end of the couch, waching them. Listening to her turned me on, and I knew T was enjoying himself tremendously. They finished off with her giving him a blowjob. He came and she swallowed. I'm impressed by her stamina and tenacity. Apparently, she'd done it that previous night as well.

After she'd left, I told T that waching them turned me on. I asked him if he'd be willing to finger me to an orgasm, and we went into the bedroom. Two orgasms later, I was feeling much more relaxed. The last orgasm was weird. I sometimes start giggling after I've come, incontrollably. I'm used to that. But somehow, something T said made me laugh out loud. Uncontrollably. For quite some time. It was very weird and I kept loosing my breath. It wasn't uncomfortable in any way, but not something I wish to repeat either. It just felt really weird.

So that's what the title is about. As opposed to last weekend with Corvus, this time T got two orgasms and I got two. We are equals, so it's only fair. And I do love how he does it. He's gooood.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

A ratio of 3:1

Again, I haven't updated the blog in a while and lots of stuff has happened. Last weekend, we went to a private party at the BDSM club. Afterwards, I brough corvus home with me while T was staying at DW's house. Then followed (or, more precicely, continued) a long weekend of playing. We did so much, there's no way I can catch it all in this blog. What I remember the best are these things:

Sitting on top of him, partially lying down, holding him so he can't get loose. He's struggling, but has to give in to me.
The butterfly nipple clamps, again and again. He's getting sooo sore, and yet loving it.
Making him touch me, taste me. Sitting on his face, putting my boobs in his mouth, taking his hand and placing it between my legs. His insecure, gentle and yet so responsive and alert touch. Responding to my every move, my every word, my every sound. Teaching. I love teaching.
Putting plastic clamps on his balls and watching him squirm and moan. Eventually he broke. (Not my plan, but I saw it happening and rolled with it.) One day, I will make him scream in main. Preferably behind a gag.
Cuddling after a long night of playing, falling asleep on his arm.
Continuing playing long into the morning and afternoon the next day, at any time being able to grab him.
Comming, three times. Once from him fingering me (with some help from a vibrator on the clit) and twice with the stubby (while he was sucking and cuddling my nipples).
Him comming once. I like the 3:1 ratio.

The rest of that Sunday, I walked on clouds. I was in a comfortable, fuzzy daze. Very, very nice. The effect even remained partially into Monday, too.

On Tuesday and Wednesday we met again, and both days we were going to the BDSM club. Tuesday for a munch and Wednesday for a bondage munch. Both evenings, we ended up in the back of the car, and we stayed there for waaay longer than we should have. Got to bed after 1:15am both days. It took it's toll, but it was fun. Worth it, I think.

I've come to realise that I trust corvus more than I thought I'd ever trust a plaything. He's more than just a plaything, though. He's a friend, a confidante. If we'd actually had sex, I'd call him a lover. I enjoy spending time with him and over the last few months we've gotten to know eachother fairly well. I trust him enough that I'd be willing to switch with him, if T had let me. Corvus is a switch with a growing dominant side. I've just started discussing this with T, but we having concluded anything. For now there is no doubt that I remain the Dominant one, and that doesn't bother me. I love being on top.

The recurring themes these days have been nipple play and crossdressing. Both turn him on, both scare him a bit.. And so I enjoy doing both. The crossdressing isn't a turn on for me, but his REACTIONS to the crossdressing certainly are. And I keep finding things he doesn't wish to do... There's just so much material to work on!

It's all good. :)