Wednesday, September 1, 2010

You can't be there for everyone

Today, there was a munch at the local BDSM club. I met up with Corvus and did a few little things to him. Just to keep him on his toes, keep him guessing. I tried dripping warm wax on his arm (there are candles on every table, how great is that!), I did some more scratching, a bit of biting and a bit of tickling. Nothing major, nothing serious and not for long. But oh my, does it affect him! I'm loving every moment of it, and can't wait to get to know him better.

After he'd left, I somehow got involved with this other guy. I'm naming him Winnie. I ended up tying a harness on him, and attaching his hands and legs to the neerby furniture and wall. And then I just tested various things on him. A bit of pain, a bit of tickling, a bit of nibbling and biting etc. I've known him for years, but I haven't dominated him before. So I don't know him well in that regard. It was interesting. We aren't a perfect match, I don't get drawn to him the way I did to Mondage and Corvus. But playing with him is fun and enjoyable.

I feel rather sad for him. Like so many submissive men, he's single in every sense of the word. No love relationship, no BDSM relationship. He so badly wants to belong to someone, to be able to rely on someone and trust someone. But he's been badly burnt, both with regards to BDSM and love. And he's such a great guy! Lovable, kind, social, good-looking and cute. And he's alone. He often gets bored at club events, because nothing happens to him. He tries to be active, take initiative and get people to play, but it only rarely happens.

I feel sad for him, I wish I could help him. But I'm not what he needs. Sure we played today, and probably will play again sometime in the future. But I can't and won't go into anything longterm with him, and he knows that. Still.. It's sad.

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